What Love Gave Us
by Kristen APA
Summary: [Set a year after S4CS] Anna and John reflect on their lives as they embark on their next chapter together.


**A/N:** Another fic that was originally on Tumblr first (I am angel-princess-anna). This was written for the Banna Valentines' Extravaganza. Takes place about a year after S4CS, so it's set in 1924. I'm not sure that I managed to cover the prompt as completely as I would have liked to but hopefully the sentiment is there. I apologize for the choppiness and it being all over the place. I started writing this before my work schedule changed, and since then I didn't really have the time to sit down and write properly. But I wanted it posted on Valentine's Day, so there we were, and I'm not going to change the content when I post it here. Some introspection and some fluff.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Downton Abbey._  
Notes: Fleeting references to what happened in S4E3.

* * *

_"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."_

It was quite warm in the Bateses' cottage, despite the windows being open to let in the late summer breeze. Over the years they had not spent that many afternoons there, being at the big house instead working. All of that was going to change though, with their days soon to be spent now in a new location. The time to leave service had finally come and when John found out that the Grantham Arms in the village was for sell, the timing seemed perfect. For once, the stars seemed to align themselves for the couple, although he knew better than to take anything for granted.

It was going to be hard to say good-bye to the cottage though. While they would be able to drop by the Abbey to visit, they would eventually never be coming back here to the house that was officially their first home together as man and wife. Anna had on occasion imagined raising their future children there, but with only one small spare room, it was not practical in the long run. The idea of a running a hotel together had seemed so perfect that night in November 1916, but that dream had been cast aside in the wake of what had happened two years ago.

And there had been no real necessity for them to leave service, as the other half of that dream seemed like it was going to be left unfulfilled, until a few months ago when Anna had stopped by Dr. Clarkson's on her half day. The pregnancy had come as a surprise, but a happy one. Their focus these past years had not been trying to have a baby, yet they still very much had wanted to have children one day.

While nothing could change what had happened that horrible night, life did move on, little by little. Some days were much easier than others, but they were moving forward. Things would never quite be the same again, and there would always be difficulties, but they were rebuilding their lives together, and staring a new chapter.

John watched as Anna hummed a bit to herself, her hands occasionally coming to rest on the swell of her stomach, responding to the baby's movements. Like many expectant mothers, she felt like she was becoming the size of a whale at a little more than six months along, but to him, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and she was distracting him with her glow. Her head was bent as she sorted out her old clothing on the bed, her braid dangling. He had to pull his eyes away to finish his task at hand.

"I never realized that we owned so many things," he commented as he closed one trunk and scooted another across the floor of the cottage. "I think one of these is just books."

Anna grinned, organizing her piles. "Well, I am trying to see what I can give away to the missionary barrel." Her fingers fell upon a blue, old fashioned dress. "Some things I just cannot part with, though."

He glanced over at the pile and then instantly recognized the dress. It was from the day Anna had declared her love for him. _Because I love you, Mr. Bates._ She had worn her jacket over it the entire time, but he knew it in a heartbeat. Every detail of that moment was etched into his memory. How she had been the one to finally to make her stand. And if she had waited for him to make the first move, as society dictated women ought to, at least back ten years ago, they would not be here together today.

"Indeed," he replied smiling, then added, softly, "I didn't know you kept that."

"I've held onto quite a few things," her own voice now heavy with emotion.

When John first came to Downton, he was keen on keeping to himself and was just trying to get by in life. Falling in love was not something he expected at all. It had taken time for him to finally push his doubts completely down, always struggling with the thought of dragging Anna down and into his troubles.

He had done some things in during his second time prison that he was not proud of, but he knew that they were steps closer to getting home back to her. After his release, he was finally able to accept happiness. Great troubles still had lain ahead, but at that point – and now – he felt that they could make it through with each other.

She had been the one guiding them along, and had she not been there for him the moment they met, their lives would have been so much different. So much of those early years had been her supporting him, but when the tides changed, he returned the strength she had given him.

Anna smiled as she watched her husband, who was determined to repack the books into the smaller, half-filled boxes. Their shared love of literature helped to draw them to each other in those early days and still had great meaning, as he often still read to her at night, although it was common now for her to fall asleep as soon as they climbed in bed.

Glancing back at the dress, she for a brief moment, imagined what her life would have been like without John Bates. Had she never meet him, she would have just gone on to become Lady Mary's lonely lady's maid, not knowing that she was living her life half-lived. Her decision to speak up that day on the way to the flower show was one of the best she ever made.

The path from there was far from being an easy one, that was an understatement. But she was able to face the hardships because in the end she still had him. Those closest to her always admired her strength, but even the strongest need support sometimes, and that she found undying in him.

Her reverie was interrupted by his voice.

"Perhaps maybe you—we should take a break." John corrected himself as soon as her eyes had narrowed. She always hated being coddled, and her being with child caused the overprotective side in him to rise again. Dr. Clarkson had told to be mindful of her condition and to rest more than she was used to from her days at the Abbey, he reminded her. At the same time, he understood where she was coming from, as he hated being pitied over his leg. "It's getting a little warm in here."

That Anna could agree with, and they went downstairs to the settee.

"Remember when we broke the old one Mrs. Bow had in here?" she asked as they settled done, leaning against each other despite the warmth. "When we first moved in?"

He answered with a smile. "Of course."

She closed her eyes and snuggled her head into his shoulder. One of his hands came up to stroke her hair, the other splayed on the roundness of her stomach, feeling the kicks and wiggles of their child. He placed a kiss on her temple.

There had been times in both their lives where they didn't feel they deserved each other. But there was no denying in the end that they there puzzle pieces that fit together, and there was no denying how their love changed them, and what it had given them.


End file.
